From Darkness to Light


part four

{Read: Part Three So Thick with Darkness I Couldn’t Breath }

Coming Into the Light (Part Four)

I never once doubted during all those years that the Lord had forgotten or forsaken us. I knew He was going to somehow get us through. What I didn’t realize was that He had as much work to do on my anger issues and my obsession with being rich as He had on my husband’s alcoholism. He had to bring me to the point of realizing that I had a problem. I don’t really remember what made me realize that my attitude was wrong, but I remember asking Him to change it.

Learning to forgive my husband and myself were the first step. I have learned it is much easier to forgive him than me. I regret the way I acted during his drinking days. I regret a lot of things, but regret doesn’t help anything. That was one lesson I have learned. Holding onto grudges is another. The past is the past and what happened there needs to stay there. I can learn from it, but burying only the head of the hatchet so that you can grab the handle to use it again doesn’t help. The whole hatchet need to be buried deep and covered with forgiveness. Only forgiveness helps. Knowing that Jesus died for my temper tantrums is amazing. Knowing that He can forgive me for being such a brat (and at my age!) blows my mind. His willingness to teach me about being frugal and managing money is truly gracious and generous. 

Because of God’s grace, a surveying job at the University of Georgia was brought to my husband’s attention and he applied for and got the job. It still doesn’t earn as much as his private business, but the benefits are great. (One being cheap tickets to go watch the Georgia Bulldogs play. I haven’t been to a game since college.) The Lord has also blessed him with some side work of private survey jobs and some chicken house work. (We live in the land of chicken houses!) Since we aren’t making as much as before, we are both more careful with managing money. I am learning that frugal can be fun. (It’s all a matter of attitude.)

We still have a long way to go in our journey, but I think we are at least at the edge of the woods taking our first steps into the meadow full of light. It feels good to have the light fully on my face. It feels good to have the Light fully in my heart. 

My prayer is that anyone who may be going through similar circumstances will know that there is hope. Jesus is at work on you, whether you realize it or not. He is at work on your alcoholic spouse whether you realize it or not. He hasn’t gotten you this far to abandon you now. It may feel like it, but He may have you where you are, in the dark, waiting, while He prepares the path He wants you to take. You are still in His sight. He can see you in the dark. Darkness is as light to Him. Trust Him with all your heart. Cry out to Him and He will move heaven and earth to come rescue you when you call. 

About Jayne

I am a housewife desperate to give my heart and home to the Lord. I like to share with others what the Lord has taught to me. Taking care of my family and home are my passion. I like to craft and decorate and to share the ideas I come across with others. I try to find ways to incorporate crafting and decorating with sharing my faith in Jesus.
This entry was posted in Family and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to From Darkness to Light

  1. windleg says:

    Thank you so much for sharing these personal and encouraging posts. Your faithfulness is inspiring. May God continue to bless you!

    • Jayne says:

      Awww Thank you. I’m glad you found some encouragement in my story. It’s really God’s story and he’s just using me to tell it. So really, the encouragement is from Him. May He bless you richly with all heavenly blessings.

  2. pattisj says:

    Great series, Jayne. Thanks for sharing.

Hearing from you makes my day!